where are YOU when it hurts the most

I don't think i have mention this before on my blog... but i lost a friend of mine on the 11 march 2005...

He had some brain complications and he didn't make it out alive... He was in coma for 2 over weeks... for that 2 weeks, i became what i was once before... a good christian boy... i prayed and prayed and prayed... that my friend would wake from his coma...

There was so much to be said to him... i wanted to tell him that i'm sorry for all the times i igonored him... but the chance to tell him was over. He was not awake to hear my speak.
I begged God to wake up once more... but he didn't wake...

When my friend passed on... i kept asking myself... why didn't my friend wake... why!!!
Was it because my faith was not enough... was it because i didn't lead a good christian life... why?

He was a good man.... a man who was after the heart of God... He would speak to his father about God and God's Love...

Sometimes i wonder... why people go after God... sometimes i don't even feel God near me anymore.
For 2 weeks of my life... i really trusted God with all my heart... just a hope... a hope that he will wake...

If it is true, than my friend is in heaven... and if i could, i would want to see him to tell him all the stuff that i kept in my heart for a long time...


I will see you again Blen... see you friend...